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/ november is a month of ghosts

a grey knive lurking on the corner of the bathroom counter, incongruously balanced on the edge - just about to fall - the light of day leaked into the room like dish detergent being squeezed gently out of a bottle, and over in the corner, rats rustled in a paper bag. he walked into the room to the sound of the ceiling fan slowly misunderstood. his left sneaker squeaked slightly. paper in his pocket crumpled up and a blue crayon behind one ear. a muddy cigarette in one hand and no lighter. his eyes are silently stained-glass windows inside a church with no congregation, waiting for the hollow bellpulls - the doorbell of the Almighty. he takes out a sharpie and marks an x on the wall. moments later a fly buzzes fatly in and lands on the ��������������������������������������������spot, preening and humming to itself. below, at the baseboard, an ant trundles in. he looks at the mirror. he looks away. outside, a bird hits the window, and all things still, in hushed������������������������������������������mourning. an ignorant cricket looses a selfish mating call and
2003-05-30, 8:22 a.m.

blugaloo

��������� �����at some point during the night i dreamed of dominatrix ballerinas. i know, i know.

last night was the first read-through for the musical i'm in ('the silver lining') with tara and kristin, and kristin's brother. and this kid i had production management class with in sophomore year. dan burbank. oddly enough, i think i remember seeing him somewhere else, too, much like i remember seeing mark, and asher, and jason, and casey - and knowing, upon first glance, that'd i'd see them again and again. and then i got to know them really well. oddly enough.

the world is a screwball place. soundtrack this morning is jump, little children. and the sound of a weedwhacker outside my window. it's sean, not mark or the other guy. poor mark. i mean, i left my name at the groundskeeping office, but jeez. the guy looks like he's put through the wringer every day. he came up here yesterday, at about three, after work, drenched and looking exhausted. and he's a lot more fit than i am. so i can't imagine how i'd be feeling. (speaking of being fit ... no, i'm not going to promise that i'm starting a new healthy routine, because it's bullshit and you all know it.) but yeah. tomorrow i'm planning on going home for day or so, first time since christmas, and i'm looking forward to it. have to bring home some of these obstreporous boxes, filled with outsized clothing, not to mention pick up the box of food they have waiting for me. tres exciting. tara still might be coming with. i do hope she does. it'll be so much more fun with someone in the car ... for about three hours south. plus, my brakes are acting up, i think.

last night was a recession into dark, and pulpy moods. at around one, or one-thirty, even neglecting to put an away message up, or take off my glasses, i burrowed into bed. i guess these odd hours of sleeping are getting to me, more than i thought. so yeah! the read through went very well. returning to the first topic of conversation. (i'm not even sure, really, how many people read this tedium chronica of my daily life anymore) i'm the owner of the club/bartender. i love playing bartenders, even if i don't look the part, really, for the 'type'. which cracks me up. there's some good lines, and some funny, funny stuff. it's based on much ado about nothing. and there's ... other references. all in all, it's written well. gonna be a fantastic time. i can't wait. dance rehearsal monday night.

some empty bottles of soda spinning around on my bare tiled floor right now. an empty milk jug which .. i should probably dispose of. some dishes that could bear some washing. last night, jason and i made eggs & mac-and-cheese and watched 'ghostbusters' down in the lounge. that was good. depending on how things turn out, this could be the start of a good week. if the movie cinema calls me back at the beginning of next week, when i come back from connecticut (i have a feeling tara won't come, but that's ok) and i have that secure job, plus rehearsals, i'll have something to structure my life around.

which is always, always a good thing.

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�SEH