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/ november is a month of ghosts

a grey knive lurking on the corner of the bathroom counter, incongruously balanced on the edge - just about to fall - the light of day leaked into the room like dish detergent being squeezed gently out of a bottle, and over in the corner, rats rustled in a paper bag. he walked into the room to the sound of the ceiling fan slowly misunderstood. his left sneaker squeaked slightly. paper in his pocket crumpled up and a blue crayon behind one ear. a muddy cigarette in one hand and no lighter. his eyes are silently stained-glass windows inside a church with no congregation, waiting for the hollow bellpulls - the doorbell of the Almighty. he takes out a sharpie and marks an x on the wall. moments later a fly buzzes fatly in and lands on the ��������������������������������������������spot, preening and humming to itself. below, at the baseboard, an ant trundles in. he looks at the mirror. he looks away. outside, a bird hits the window, and all things still, in hushed������������������������������������������mourning. an ignorant cricket looses a selfish mating call and
2003-09-10, 12:51 p.m.

outsideinside

��������� �����scene: acting class.

sound effect: a sharp knock on the door, and the sudden face of matt meeds, technical director: "we're evacuating the building, there's been an ammonia leak." in that tone of voice that's so serious you immediately think it's a practical joke.

so acting class relocates outside, to three locales before a relatively quiet spot outside of corthell hall is chosen. the day is pleasingly neutral - a clear blue sky. green trees and room temperature, even out-of-doors. this day is complementary to the lazy night filled with pinot grigio and apricot juice until roughly two in the morning. and the tones of a new favourite band, girlyman, brought to my attention by corey. in particular, "montpelier" and "say goodbye" - harmonically inclined, good guitar riffs. kinda like the indigo girls, honestly, but for some reason less -- twangy.

a mound of work! still plunging through rehearsals for macbeth, obviously, and slightly over-the-head with other such work, like classes etc. i should really sit down and DO all of this ... at some point ... and now i've auditioned for romeo & juliet at the children's theatre, which, if i get cast, i will get PAID a stipend of $600. this is quite staggering. of course, i'm also proposing my show for SPA in the spring, so there's a lot of turmoil about scheduling. i'm confident that i can handle it. not even in the smallest bit do i feel rundown or depressed: life continues on and goes, actually, quite swimmingly.

a bit of indulgence, but i think we all have to cultivate some vices at some point or another ... even the colours in my life seem to be aligning in a weird way : i wonder how the gray winter, ever neutralising, will make things ... the barrage of less-than-natural light, the slow suffocations .. all of which this summer has lent a strange glow to. or at least, this slow and lazy wandering into the end of summer before it tumbles merrily into fall. sometimes i think the seasons are like aging in reverse, getting smaller and smaller until the snow (like a blizzard of sperm!) tries to impregnate the earth and make it birth again? i don't know. some mixed metaphor like that.

go check out transitive if you haven't already. i'm so very proud of it.

that's all for now. GO OUTSIDE.

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�SEH