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/ november is a month of ghosts

a grey knive lurking on the corner of the bathroom counter, incongruously balanced on the edge - just about to fall - the light of day leaked into the room like dish detergent being squeezed gently out of a bottle, and over in the corner, rats rustled in a paper bag. he walked into the room to the sound of the ceiling fan slowly misunderstood. his left sneaker squeaked slightly. paper in his pocket crumpled up and a blue crayon behind one ear. a muddy cigarette in one hand and no lighter. his eyes are silently stained-glass windows inside a church with no congregation, waiting for the hollow bellpulls - the doorbell of the Almighty. he takes out a sharpie and marks an x on the wall. moments later a fly buzzes fatly in and lands on the ��������������������������������������������spot, preening and humming to itself. below, at the baseboard, an ant trundles in. he looks at the mirror. he looks away. outside, a bird hits the window, and all things still, in hushed������������������������������������������mourning. an ignorant cricket looses a selfish mating call and
2003-08-27, 11:51 a.m.

the waiting game.

��������� �����the tune is "the last stop" by dave matthews band.

the time is noon, on a otherwise blue-eyed tuesday morning.

dreams were gray-eyed and scattered. it rained heavily. i fell asleep reading "sacrament" by clive barker, something i haven't read in a long time, after having completed "tender is the night" by f. scott fitzgerald. soon i will need to find a copy of "coldheart canyon" by clive barker, and presently i will begin to devour that, as well.

a few more days stretch out across the expanse of waiting - talk of moving in, talk of the year ahead. i've planned out a schedule for myself, and want to adhere to it. lots of free time, lots of rehearsing, lots of time to get shit done. this is a year of re-invention. i cannot wait for the winter :

i am a winter person, as it is, anyway.

long talks with peter online, in which i concern myself with the business of thought vs. action.

a mess of clothes behind me, but a contented empty space on the rumpled sheets of the bed.

i would really like a thunderstorm while i'm down here. but if not, that's okay too.

writing more, now. and the possibility that my PC in maine might be easily fixed bringing a palpitation to my heart. the lights are dim here. i feel like listening to some coldplay, or something of that nature. ben folds five. the beatles, maybe. something to wake up to.

and, i'm done.

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�SEH