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/ november is a month of ghosts

a grey knive lurking on the corner of the bathroom counter, incongruously balanced on the edge - just about to fall - the light of day leaked into the room like dish detergent being squeezed gently out of a bottle, and over in the corner, rats rustled in a paper bag. he walked into the room to the sound of the ceiling fan slowly misunderstood. his left sneaker squeaked slightly. paper in his pocket crumpled up and a blue crayon behind one ear. a muddy cigarette in one hand and no lighter. his eyes are silently stained-glass windows inside a church with no congregation, waiting for the hollow bellpulls - the doorbell of the Almighty. he takes out a sharpie and marks an x on the wall. moments later a fly buzzes fatly in and lands on the ��������������������������������������������spot, preening and humming to itself. below, at the baseboard, an ant trundles in. he looks at the mirror. he looks away. outside, a bird hits the window, and all things still, in hushed������������������������������������������mourning. an ignorant cricket looses a selfish mating call and
2003-06-27, 4:08 a.m.

devoured by insects, and other sundry tales sure to semi-fascinate you

��������� �����recipe for a commonplace introibo entry:

1 part weather observation

2 parts introspective behaviour, usually pessimistic

2 parts day-to-day chronicling.

1 part quoting from various friends

and a heaping of melodrama.

that being said.

tonight i watched 'roger dodger' and liked it. a lot. i need to find the script for it so that i can quote liberally from the first scene, which was largely about how in the future, men will be reduced to servitude and women will have reign over most things. simply because of artificial insemination. it was a good conversation. the music was fantastic and the acting ... superb.

it's been hot. ridiculously so. the sun is merciless. the humidity is like cake frosting, slathered and moist. i tried to write something tonight. peter mentioned 'you should really write more.' and i tried to but lost it after the first sentence. chalk it up to a rare form of selective ADD.

moments before glen leapt into the water, he remembered he didn't know how to swim.

he opened the levolor blinds and flinched at how bright the sun was. 'hello doctor,' a voice came from behind him, just before he died.

meaningless drivel.

'we're having girly talk now,' kristin said. i was standing in the middle of her room and jamie was sitting on her floor. jamie the female RA.

'oh?' i said, somewhat nonchalantly. feigned, of course.

'yes.'

pause.

'that means you have to leave.'

'oh! right!' and i did. some more witty banter took place between my exiting and the door closing, but i don't remember it. exit down the hall to the guys' room.

'men,' i began stoutly, 'the girls are talking. which means we must now watch porn and laugh about beer.'

'.. drink beer,' jason corrected.

'yes, that.'

we didn't. in case you were wondering.

i've been sitting here since, alternately playing with the levolor blinds and enjoying that movie. horrifying brothel scene with really atmospheric music. i'm a whore for movie soundtracks. 'finding nemo' was great. thomas newman, of course. john williams, james horner, blah. they can kiss my ass with their self-cannibalising scores full of bombast and puerile brass. give me elliot goldenthal -- or don davis, of the matrix fame -- or, yes, thomas newman, mychael danna, the list goes on. beautiful, simple themes that stick with you.

this entry is largely divergent. if i lived in a big city perhaps it might be a little more entertaining to read. i'd chronicle the going-out adventure i had. i'd likely be a lot more socially adjusted - or worse off than i am now, possibly. i'm certainly not a socialite. (and i definitely just typed 'socialist' in there.)

a definition of change is coming over me. i am finding that i want to have sex. yes. does this make you laugh? it probably should. bravura and bravado accompany this. SEX. as roger dodger says: 'SEX IS EVERYWHERE. you have to have 20/20 vision.' on the lookout!

hot. steaming. broiling. perishing in this obstreporous heat. rehearsal tonight went well. mostly. i got what i needed accomplished. maybe the beach in a day or so. and maybe a job by the middle of next week. pursuit is necessary.

i am endeavouring to Make Something of Myself.

i think i need to write another play. but i need an idea.

aha! here's one! how about SLEEP. yes, that.

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�SEH