eyes closed, foot tapping
��������� �����something about the ways that the sun is able to move - locked in a constant rise fall, anchoured to the rim of a sphere - to our perspective. otherwise we're all locked into circles, whether we're planets or humans or emotions or biological processes. something mystical about the circle -tomorrow will be friday the thirteenth. it will similarily be a full moon. in june. which is the sixth month of the year - halfway through a circular time period, halfway through a birth-death cycle of moon-phase - from our perspective.
last night i saw X2 again, since jason and anthony and jill and kristin hadn't seen it yet. they were all quite impressed. i was again struck with my identification with the character of pyro - i may have written about this earlier, but didn't give too much away because i didn't want to spoil it. but you know that scene in the drake house, where pyro is looking at the picture of bobby and his family, and then it shows his reflection superimposed over the glass of the picture - and you catch the longing, jealous look in his eye. i - the first i saw it - nearly jumped out of my seat with the empathy that hit me. and it was funny last night to watch it and have mark be there, two seats down from me, even now that everything is over in that department. (thank christ.) and then, when i announced that's who i would want to be, i had a few sources agree with me, saying that's what they thought too. and it thrilled me.
finished watching 'what women want' today. good movie. was unecessarily spending money yesterday - but got a good deal, mostly. i really am addicted to DVDs. it's a serious problem. i have resolved not to let myself buy another one in the entire month of june. maybe i will 'ration' myself. look in the calendar, see what's set to come out, and then just chart when i will spend money to get that. i think that would be a good plan. because $50 is FAR too much to spend all at once. and i was shocked i'd done it, later on. but secretly sort of pleased. i have to watch myself. i should get a call today or tomorrow about the job at eddie bauer ... and i actually hung out with travis (my roommate) yesterday, watching 'dark city' with him and lindsey. he likes horror movies. and we had a good conversation about them. that was a lot of fun - he's ... really amiable.
otherwise, things progress slowly. i woke up around noonish today with an odd sense of headache lingering, wraithlike, watching out of the corner of my eye as travis left the room. i felt myself suddenly self-conscious, wondering if i looked stupid when i was sleeping. i'll never know, though, will i. and insofar, i've begun work on a new script (that is mindbogglingly annoying) and wrote a new poem, which you can find in unheimlich, based on something that happened outside my window a day or so ago. i know, it's raw. i need to get back into the Groove ... missing something crucial.
don't know.
soundtrack for today, eva cassidy singing 'blue skies'. a jazz-filled day wherein every song ends on a smooth decrescendo of piano and drum, and the requisite quiet applause that follows - then the upsweep of camera way up high, and .. roll credits