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/ november is a month of ghosts

a grey knive lurking on the corner of the bathroom counter, incongruously balanced on the edge - just about to fall - the light of day leaked into the room like dish detergent being squeezed gently out of a bottle, and over in the corner, rats rustled in a paper bag. he walked into the room to the sound of the ceiling fan slowly misunderstood. his left sneaker squeaked slightly. paper in his pocket crumpled up and a blue crayon behind one ear. a muddy cigarette in one hand and no lighter. his eyes are silently stained-glass windows inside a church with no congregation, waiting for the hollow bellpulls - the doorbell of the Almighty. he takes out a sharpie and marks an x on the wall. moments later a fly buzzes fatly in and lands on the ��������������������������������������������spot, preening and humming to itself. below, at the baseboard, an ant trundles in. he looks at the mirror. he looks away. outside, a bird hits the window, and all things still, in hushed������������������������������������������mourning. an ignorant cricket looses a selfish mating call and
2003-05-20, 8:05 a.m.

early morning wake-up

��������� �����another weird morning.

a fairly optimistic past night, though. tara and amy visited - well, mostly tara. we took my (somewhat deflated) basketball out to the courts in front of robie and played for awhile. then, when we got tired of missing, threw a frisbee around. until the wind was picking up, and tara was tired. she left around eleven, and i crawled into bed at 1150pm exactly, leaving the light on and just extinguishing my consciousness like a candle.

up! 5am! why? i have no idea. but here i've been for the past three hours, downloading various movie scores. the matrix, reloaded, minority report, spider-man, and now signs. and perusing ebay, too. which is a sin, considering i'm so loose with the money i have. i rationalise it with the fact that what i bid on is inexpensive, and fun, too. i need more ... fun. for myself. i'm allowed. i think.

with the temperatures supposedly to reach seventy-seven today, i'm pondering a trip to the beach. glancing around here, the only thing that's really going to occupy my schedule is a job - hopefully soon, too, at the regal movie theatres in south portland. if they call this week, that is. i can feel the temperature rising already ...

and my roommate hasn't come back yet, either, so i've been living in a pseudo-single. not that i need a whole big room like this to live in - i'm perfectly happy with my half ... so long as it has the window, which it does.

i've been reading more shakespeare. aloud. 'titus andronicus' is still my favourite - although 'king lear' is now high up in those ranks. i think i would like to play edmund someday. i wonder why i chose to stage manage 'macbeth' rather than audition for it.

terribly apologetic for the prosaic nature of this entry. i'm not feeling particularly inspired with words today. or yesterday. you've noticed the new layout, mm? well, i've started doing other layouts, based on song inspirations, and yesterday's layout was "hey, hey" by the band dispatch. i learned some new html (well, css) and was quite thrilled with the end result. so. if anyone's looking for a new layout, let me know and i'll do what i can. because i have ALL THIS FREE TIME.

and hopefully a paycheck this friday. which would make things much more comfortable for me.

onward!

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�SEH