c'mon, talk to me
��������� �����another strange night. filled with jason and i laughing hysterically over scripts i'd written in the past."the maid?"
empty domino's pizza boxes strewn around on the floor. the feeling of analysis, completeness. this time of the year. watching people grow into their talent. casey, growing into interpretation of lines, acting ability, in one scene, seeing a whole year of change. it's really very remarkable. same thing with a lot of people in the "acting circuit" that i've travelled with. chelsea's come quite far. has far to go, but then, we all do. steph burnett. amanda jordan. adam ames. all of us actors-in-progress.
walking around russell hall at 830am, tacking up macbeth audition posters and the poster to advertise the stage readings in the black box all week (630pm, russell hall lab theatre, if you're in town on thursday night, come see my play! hell, come see them all!) i need to get a haircut. i hate the weight of it on my head. "i've been thinking about shaving my head," rachel said, laughing. a weird summerspring day today.
need to do laundry, need to do things that all have specific slots of time to be completed within. i could have a monologue memorised in .. how many hours? i didn't sleep last night, and i'm doing it again right now. acting at 1230, then a meeting, a meeting, dinner, staged readings. have to check the mail. need to memorize a monologue. something short & easy. but challenging. find something durang-y.
sat down with tara tonight. a long talk. mutual understanding. clicking gears, etc. she graduates in a week. but will be around this summer ... and so will everyone. there's things to do this summer. like i told tara. right now [my left eye is burning slightly and my mouth is dry] i'm not going to be "unbalanced" anymore. why bother? why be cynical, sarcastic, angry, analysing ..
scene in stanislavsky went ... well. i erupted in emotion defending my choices for the character i played. it was a hard scene. edward albee's "a delicate balance" with the character of tobias in which his superobjective never manifests itself externally, only internally. very difficult to play that way. not happy with the way i played out the scene, having "betrayed" my conception of tobias, but happy that i got to explain myself to the relentless director-actors of the class. i felt like i was being castigated for being "young and inexperienced" etc. feeling that a lot lately. "young" and not in the good way.
it's 324am. i miss these hours. the light is warm, soft ,and outside, it's still quite chilled. forty-eight fahrenheit. i need some water. but the school water's sketchy.
i probably will sleep tonight though. the day in grey twill khakis, a white tshirt and a short-sleeve white buttondown shirt. sandals. felt summery. thin, but substantial. will work on the outward manifestation of essence.
or some mythical quaalude like that. maybe more poesie later, but not now. i am writing for those of you who will read this tomorrow today. and my eyes BURN.
so it's goodnight-time.