i wear my heart on my sleeve, my clothing is soaked with rain
��������� �����suddenly i'm writing songs.i woke up this morning and it was raining. i didn't have to look out the window to know and no part of my body ached - it just was. raining. thin rain, too, like it was barely interested in gracing the earth with its presence. today is a jason mraz day. "after an afternoon" - [something in the way you laugh / and it makes me feel like a child] -
and suddenly i'm writing songs.
sometimes i wonder if the horrible feeling swings like a biorhythm, attached blackly and thickly like a horror-movie parasite to the weatherchanges. or the fact that i had to get up early when all i wanted to do was lay in bed under a great big window star-struck with the drops of rain and the shifting monoliths of gray clouds like slumbering beasts trying to wake up with me. in sync.
got a b on that ridiculous global enlightenment paper. a b on the test. betsy IMs me. "if you and corey are on a hugging basis, could you hug him for me?"
"why, is he sad?"
"no, i just miss him // a lot"
"it's a missing kind of day."
i am very happy with music right now. but it's a spot of happy like warm tea in the throat. the old obsession is rearing a horrid head.
rachel out of the theatre last night -"mark left." she says. and i say "he didn't come tonight." and she said "oh, someone said someone who looked like him ran out right at the end." i pause for thought. i'd run out to turn lights on, etc, as my job mandates. "that was me." pause for thought. she catches my eye. "don't."
the rain. oh if i was ... cliche is that the right word? ... i would quote dar williams or CSNY or ani or whatever folky music was on my mind for the quoting of the drizzle, the submerging feeling of gray gray gray -
suddenly i am writing songs [i am a folded-up origami boy, i am made of brown leaves / tucked into new england's pocket, i don't think i'm naive / it's amazing, the rain is gray today - grayer than any other year]
across the globe tokyo is falling; around the corner, california's calling / i'm figuring out what i forgot i knew - and the beginning has yet to be through ..
suddenly. turn turn away.