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/ november is a month of ghosts

a grey knive lurking on the corner of the bathroom counter, incongruously balanced on the edge - just about to fall - the light of day leaked into the room like dish detergent being squeezed gently out of a bottle, and over in the corner, rats rustled in a paper bag. he walked into the room to the sound of the ceiling fan slowly misunderstood. his left sneaker squeaked slightly. paper in his pocket crumpled up and a blue crayon behind one ear. a muddy cigarette in one hand and no lighter. his eyes are silently stained-glass windows inside a church with no congregation, waiting for the hollow bellpulls - the doorbell of the Almighty. he takes out a sharpie and marks an x on the wall. moments later a fly buzzes fatly in and lands on the ��������������������������������������������spot, preening and humming to itself. below, at the baseboard, an ant trundles in. he looks at the mirror. he looks away. outside, a bird hits the window, and all things still, in hushed������������������������������������������mourning. an ignorant cricket looses a selfish mating call and
2003-04-12, 3:14 a.m.

gray-muzzled sky

��������� �����some poetry this morning, a list of the introduction to the obsession, a crouching huddle of work showering down on my head.

oh, and a truly awful show of interpretive dance. "dance" is even a loose term. more like moving pretentiously.

oh, and i just finished writing my six-page obstreporous reaction paper to a truly annoying article. thank god it was annoying, otherwise i would never have been able to crank five pages out of it. i'm hoping i did it right, otherwise it won't go over well with the professor(s).

i miss matt cary. i got into a "fight" with him online a week or so ago when he was drunk and i was sad, and we haven't really spoken since. i haven't called, or emailed, so i suppose it's as much my fault, but we're both stubborn, and so we sort of avoided one another, i think? i don't know. that's on my list. to fix. now that i have a planner, i can organize myself into efficiency. hopefully. the paper is done, so now all that remains is to memorize the stanislavsky scene, memorize the ten minute play i'm in, organize the two ten minute plays i'm directing, organize the staged reading of my final drafted one-act play, figure out a project for drama lit, register for classes, figure out about summer housing, submit my proposal for the fall SPA show (keep your fingers crossed for me) and go to the gym more regularly.

lately i have weird bursts of energy. i get down and randomly do a few push-ups. or sit-ups. i'm also watching the matrix again right now. i think this is called addiction. corey & betsy came up for a bit tonight, too, which was nice. i like betsy. she seems cool.

it's 3am. i should've been in bed hours ago. but i'm not. and so, achtung guten abend.

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�SEH