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/ november is a month of ghosts

a grey knive lurking on the corner of the bathroom counter, incongruously balanced on the edge - just about to fall - the light of day leaked into the room like dish detergent being squeezed gently out of a bottle, and over in the corner, rats rustled in a paper bag. he walked into the room to the sound of the ceiling fan slowly misunderstood. his left sneaker squeaked slightly. paper in his pocket crumpled up and a blue crayon behind one ear. a muddy cigarette in one hand and no lighter. his eyes are silently stained-glass windows inside a church with no congregation, waiting for the hollow bellpulls - the doorbell of the Almighty. he takes out a sharpie and marks an x on the wall. moments later a fly buzzes fatly in and lands on the ��������������������������������������������spot, preening and humming to itself. below, at the baseboard, an ant trundles in. he looks at the mirror. he looks away. outside, a bird hits the window, and all things still, in hushed������������������������������������������mourning. an ignorant cricket looses a selfish mating call and
2003-03-01, 8:08 a.m.

coaxing a thunderstorm from memory

��������� �����being the first one in the showers, before anyone else uses them, before the area is damp and sodden with the fog of others, is a beautiful thing. the unblemished tile, the dry shelf - the way that the curtain pulls all the way across the rod without any unmanageable tendencies - turning the nozzle on and then going out for a moment, or to just sit and breathe in the steam ..

it's a beautiful thing.

yesterday morning someone had spilled a pocketful of pennies on the bathroom floor, which is tiled. it looked like they had been trying to play Go. the window was closed and the doors to the stalls make a loud, protesting groan when you open or close them. the shift and tug of night, the sudden simple pang of homesickness.

(sitting on the deck just before the storm. dark sky. trees with inverted leaves. a rush of wind. and a single drop of rain .. so much like a kiss)

water.

and now, snow. seems as though the past has crystallized and now blankets my entire region. so much of my life depends upon the weather. growing up, i'd wake to the sounds of the soft, muted jazz of the local forecast. the michelin commercials. the green and pink spatters of precipitation on the map. and then, off to something else.

like now.

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�SEH